My thoughts on the whole Proana thing...

Normally I wouldn't use my fashion update blog to do anything but inform about updates and releases, but it has recently it has come to our attention (those who read the fashion feed and other SL players) that there is a flickr group dedicated to the idea that eating disorders are OK and that emaciated thinness is beautiful.

I personally have nothing against being thin; however, like many of you I was frustrated to learn that there was an SL group advocating eating disorders. I almost said I was "shocked" to learn of this, but sadly I am not shocked at all. In today's society where we are constantly force fed propaganda about what a body ideal is (or should be), I can't say it shocks me that people are falling into the various traps that exist surrounding this issue.

I am not angered at the individuals who run these sites, in fact I just feel very sorry for them. Many people struggle with illnesses like anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder and I do not think of someone with a disorder or a disease as being a horrible person based solely on behaviors triggered by their disorder or disease. Rather, I think in situations like this there needs to be an intervention of some nature involving people who post sites that advocate unhealthy ideals. Perhaps rather then chastise those individuals that run these self harm groups we should encourage them to seek the proper medical attention and help that they require for their illness.

Public awareness is important regarding these matters. It is important that the message of self love and body acceptance be nurtured and encouraged. For any of you who know me personally, have met me in world, or have seen my pictures here on my blog (just look through the history), you will know that my avatar is not skinny; in fact, she is on the very plump side. Some people live out fantasy via their virtual existence but that is not what I do. When I created my avatar she was an extension of my RL self and in being so she is fat. Heck people, my store name is PUDGE and there is a reason for that. I have always been an advocate for sending the message that beauty exists across a very broad spectrum and that although thin can be beautiful, fat can be too.

I decided to post here something I wrote on another blog about 2 years ago regarding the "fat" issue. I hope you can appreciate and enjoy it.

On being a fat girl
There are a few things that are apparent through the viewing of American television. A:) We love trash talking people and or watching people make fools of themselves for the sake of our own amusement/and or to make ourselves feel better. B:) We love all that is artificial, prepackaged, pre-determined, and thought out for us. And C:) You must not be fat, and if you are; you are a gross von grosserton and there is no reason you can not pop a bucket full of TRIM-SPA baby and make it all go away.

I like being fat. I am not saying it for the purpose of trying to make anyone else more body comfortable. I am not saying it for the purpose of trying to make people like/feel sorry for me. I am not saying it for the purpose of starting a new fat-positive trend, no, I really, truly and honestly like being who I am.

Granted, I am not just a fat girl. I am an artist, a student, a mother, a wife, a friend, a writer, and a person who really enjoys simplicity with moments of pure unfiltered chaos. But of course what you are aesthetically is the first impression people get of you (unless you have the luxury of being a shut in with only indirect means of communication). I am a lot of things. But in the white-bread-pop-culture-American eye I am a fat little ethnic girl.

Why would someone dare not want to be tall, blonde, and slender? How is it that with all the media corruption and constant propaganda that people like myself would choose to be fat? I have one very simple answer, because I think I'm hot and I like to eat. Yes, that is it. I have the biggest ego on almost any fat girl you will meet, at times to the point of being slightly narcissistic. Everyone has their preferences for what they find is their "body ideal" but to be frank, I think fat chicks are hot, hot shit. When I draw a woman's body, I draw one with substance, with girth, with beautiful rolling curves as that is what I find attractive; truly, from the deepest depths of my person.

I am proud of my body. It has carried children and given birth. It has tried to sabotage me through a medley of malfunction. It is soft and jiggly and sensual and round. It is funny and awkward at times. And it is the only one I will have the chance to be in (despite spiritual beliefs) at the moment.

When in public and I make a statement that pertains to my weight such as "Whoa, forget going for that long walk, I would not be a chubby girl if I were walking that far!" I do not expect those in my company to say something such as "Oh, why Crystal, how delusional you must be for you are nothing but a svelte little buttercup and of course by no means overweight!" I am not asking for someone to reply in such a way. In fact, I think it is rather sad that someone feels as though they have to.

Why is it so hard to fathom someone being completely and utterly comfortable in his or her own flesh? Granted, there is the media and those wonderful negative influences that haunt us: i.e., childhood taunting, parental influence, etc. It took me a great many years to come to terms with the fact that I will forever be a: short, chubby, black haired, Italian girl. Rather than having the chance to ever be a tall, statuesque, blond, American ideal of perfection.

It makes me very sad when I hear women say they are unhappy in their own skin. When I hear the girls at school say "God, if I could only drop 10 lbs I would be wearing a size 8!!" I laugh guttural laughs in response to these comments. All of these beautiful and intelligent women who put so much weight (no pun intended) on the importance of 10 lbs. why? Will it make a huge physical change in their appearance? Most likely not. Then why? It’s because of that number. Whatever beautiful number they wish to attain, be it 8, or 10, or 2. I feel sorry for the woman (or man I mean not to be sexist here as I imagine men go through body image difficulty as well, but seeing as I am a woman I can only relate to one side of the issue) who puts all her happiness eggs in the size 8 basket.

There is an understanding on my behalf though, that everyone is different. Not everyone can be thin, or fat (for my liking). And to me, the most important thing is that someone is doing what he or she is doing for himself or herself, not for anyone else. Be that the choice to loose weight, dye their hair, or get a breast augmentation. I really don't care. I understand the desire to do things to enhance ones appearance. I am guilty of that as well (tattooing for example is very much vanity on my part) but its the concept of being so unhappy with one-self unless they have one very specific thing. I think its a beautiful thing when someone can say "I look great now, but I have a size 8 pair of pants I adore and would love to fit, but if I never fit them, that is ok as I can stare at them and all their glory as they hang in my closet collecting dust until the day I can".

In closing I say, love who you are ladies and gents, because in all honesty things could be much worse...I am just going to throw out the term Leprosy here as a good example. Just remember when you want to put on that pair of jeans that just wont zip up right, be thankful that you don't have terrible skin lesions or massive tumors (or if you do, see a physician immediately).